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Writer's pictureCerelia Mallory Hepburn

Invoking the Truth

This week's art of healing session was very challenging and it brought up my anger.



We were instructed to pick our art subject based on a triggering subject. I chose water. I had a near death drowning experience when I was 4 year old. When I was 9 years old, an "uncle" grabbed me by the ankle and pulled me into a hot tub when I clearly did not want to be in the water. I banged my head on the side of the tub and went underwater for a moment, and every adult thought it was funny and they all laughed at me while I was fucking broken about it. I had to sit in the tub in my wet, now sheer white nightgown and laughed along with them.


I chose five colors, different shades of blue. I traced a vase and colored me in. I was the vibrant turquoise-blue in the center of the page. The other blues around me... one blue was so anger, I tore through the page and fixed it up with a rainbow on the back of the page, like a band aid. There's four arrows and three pools of blood. Lastly, I ran the black crayon across it all. The darkness in the waters... there is no light.


Someone spoke of bats being the subject matter for their artwork today. I used to fear bats too. But since I was inspired to get my Bea tattoo in March 2022, learning about their symbolisms in different cultures, I have loved bat. Since getting Bea, I have faced truths that I was covering up and hiding from for decades. I am grateful that I had asked in ceremony to be free from my mind of Cody, I was given new eyes and spirit to walk with the pain I had boxed away.


Last weekend, I went for a walk in the lake where I had my near drowning experience. I walked alone in the shoreline and talked aloud about my sad feelings about water and trust. I got to laugh with myself about something I spoke out. It was nice to get the last laugh there.

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