Sunday night while we travelling home from Northern Ontario, I was having a very difficult moment... I saw what appeared to be a tree farm, through the tears I asked Kirk if he thought it was a tree farm. He said yes and if I wanted to he could bring me back to decorate them with rainbows and sunflowers. Rainbows represent safety and happiness from my childhood - when I was experiencing my first sexual exploitation; I was disassociating from the experience and envisioning my rainbow sticker in my bedroom window. Sunflowers did the same for me when I was a teenager. I cried in a room where I surrounded myself in sunflowers. They were everywhere; my couch cover, my art, my solo sunflower stem from Cody, my candles, my music. When I moved in with my partner in 1999, the first thing he painted for me was a sunflower.
In 2017, I saw a pin on Pinterest that I really loved, it was a Christmas tree decorated with sunflowers. We attempted to buy sunflowers in the late fall and near xmas time and I had scoured the city for sunflowers. They were not in season and it showed.
When we moved to our new place in 2019, we bought a new xmas tree and I purchased sunflowers that summer when Michaels had their fall décor there was an abundance of sunflowers.
This post was partly inspired by Dennell, who shared her sunflower tree - - - it is the time of year where the craft stores have sunflowers in abundances so if you want to create your own sunflower tree.