Come Undone

When I decided in August 2019 to apply to attend college for the first time, I was 39 years old. The college helped me with accommodations and I started wearing my I have Fibromyalgia, thank you for being considerate pin. There was several challenges, I kept up as best as I could and I was proud of the grades I was achieving. I felt support and kindness from my peers and professors. On the medical/mental health side, it was becoming increasingly harder to kind/find caring support. My doctor who had diagnosed me with fibromyalgia in 2018 closed her practice and I was transferred to a doctor who "didn't believe in chronic illness" and it was very traumatizing to book appointments, talk to his administrative assistant, or deal with him directly. When he closed his practice in April 2020, I had been dropped as a patient in the community medical system and if you were not a member by being an active patient by one of their doctors, you could not access their services like the clinics. It became near impossible to find a doctor who would renew my medication. After another year of pill shaming and grief from the medical professionals I was dealing with, I decided to ween myself off the prescriptions. The timing was terrible, I stopped the prescription the night before I hosted a family dinner to celebrate a birthday and my LM household re traumatized me with their toxic behavior. This is when I believe I began to come undone.

When I was taking IWAP, ​​I thought I was taking the connecting step from fibro advisor to counsellor, to my next goal, which was wellness coaching. I had applied in January for the fall 2022. Unfortunately that July I found out that I did not meet the criteria to be accepted in the program at Humber. I would not be going to college in Toronto, at Humber. I had to learn to let that dream go - my five year plan was shattered.