rainbows & Sunflowers

Sunday night while we travelling home from Northern Ontario, I was having a very difficult moment... I saw what appeared to be a tree farm, through the tears I asked Kirk if he thought it was a tree farm. He said yes and if I wanted to he could bring me back to decorate them with rainbows and sunflowers. Rainbows represent safety and happiness from my childhood - when I was experiencing my first sexual exploitation; I was disassociating from the experience and envisioning my rainbow sticker in my bedroom window. Sunflowers did the same for me when I was a teenager. I cried in a room where I surrounded myself in sunflowers. They were everywhere; my couch cover, my art, my solo sunflower stem from Cody, my candles, my music. When I moved in with my partner in 1999, the first thing he painted for me was a sunflower.

In 2017, I saw a pin that I really loved, it was a Christmas tree decorated with sunflowers. We attempted to buy sunflowers in the late fall and near xmas time and I had scoured the city for sunflowers. They were not in season and it showed.

When we moved to our new place in 2019, we bought a new xmas tree and that summer when Michaels had their fall décor there was an abundance of sunflowers.

My first sunflower xmas tree, November 17, 2019.

My second sunflower xmas tree, December 19, 2021.

This post was partly insipred by ​Dennell, who shared her sunflower tree - - - it is the time of year where the craft stores have sunflowers in abundances so if you want to create your own sunflower tree. ​