Sunday night while we travelling home from Northern Ontario, I was having a very difficult moment... I saw what appeared to be a tree farm, through the tears I asked Kirk if he thought it was a tree farm. He said yes and if I wanted to he could bring me back to decorate them with rainbows and sunflowers. Rainbows represent safety and happiness from my childhood - when I was experiencing my first sexual exploitation; I was disassociating from the experience and envisioning my rainbow sticker in my bedroom window. Sunflowers did the same for me when I was a teenager. I cried in a room where I surrounded myself in sunflowers. They were everywhere; my couch cover, my art, my solo sunflower stem from Cody, my candles, my music. When I moved in with my partner in 1999, the first thing he painted for me was a sunflower.
In 2017, I saw a pin that I really loved, it was a Christmas tree decorated with sunflowers. We attempted to buy sunflowers in the late fall and near xmas time and I had scoured the city for sunflowers. They were not in season and it showed.
When we moved to our new place in 2019, we bought a new xmas tree and that summer when Michaels had their fall décor there was an abundance of sunflowers.
This post was partly insipred by Dennell, who shared her sunflower tree - - - it is the time of year where the craft stores have sunflowers in abundances so if you want to create your own sunflower tree.
"I have Fibromyalgia - thank you for being considerate," diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 2018, I am still struggling to understand my illness and learn to cope with my pain.
In spring 2022, I was diagnosed with chronic depression, c-PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder. Everyday was yesterday in my mind & in the flashbacks I was routinely suffering through. Three months after my second suicide attempt, I moved to a new community to begin my healing journey.
is an homage to my favorite childhood book series, Martine. I love the symbolism of the hot air balloon that I, Mallory, am navigating life with chronic illness while on a healing journey.