Every spring at my high school, I attended this school from September 1994 to September 1997, there was a special "fun day," I guess it could be like a school wide skip day. The event was water themed, students were allowed and encouraged to wear swimwear and use of water guns. The water day that happened in 1997, which would be my last, was an overly dramatic day for my circle of friends. Three friends were travelling to water day by car, they were in an accident and their story spread around the school quickly and it was like a game of telephone, it went from the original story that was a near accident with a transport truck to the extreme rumor that they were all killed. I remember a classmate approaching Jack and stating "I heard you died!" in which Jack responded that he heard that too.
I remember this water day the most because it was the day I was sexually assaulted at a school event. Megan was the one that put her hands on me and took off my bikini top. She exposed me in front of male upperclassman. I was humiliated and I felt powerless to stand up for myself against her.
The week after water day, I got special permission to have Megan sleep over on a school night. She wanted to attend a year end committee and because they met after school and she was from out of town, she needed a place to stay. Always the people pleaser, I offer her my spare room at LM when I was granted permission for her to stay. I don't know what she did but I do remember she did not attend the committee meetings. I do remember that we got a ride to my LM home from Owen. I remember we went for a walk, and we saw Cody that evening. Nothing important, just remembering how he started being more and more present as Austin disappeared for unknown reasons (I suspect he had a jail sentence that's why he was "gone" for close to six months).
Megan was often inappropriate to me, talking down to me, and criticizing me. She was manipulating me too. She encouraged my relationship with Cody. She set us up. I broke free from her when she tried to fix me up with Owen in the fall of '98. I didn't like how I was treated by Cody, and I didn't want to go through that again. I saw her and her intentions more clearly. That is roughly when I started hiding at Kate's apartment on weekends.
A mystery to some people from my social circles in 1997, was why did I transfer school? The events of the last few weeks of school were a major component of my decision to attend another school for my senior year. When I was a student at the French high school, I felt unseen and when I felt the safest it turned so quickly, I felt so violated, humiliated; I was so embarrassed then it only got worse when the one who I thought was my boy best friend, Owen, humiliated me twice in one week during the last week of school. I knew to distance myself but I didn't let go completely once I was a student at the English high school.
The day I met Edwin, I found out a upper classmate was transferring to WFSS for her last year of school as she was signing my yearbook. As she was handing back my yearbook, her boyfriend with his friends arrived and I was introduced to the musician. The first day back to school, first week without my summer fling, and no safety person at school anymore, I called the English school's office to transfer schools immediately. The day I officially was a Trojan, was the day I started dating Cody and continued falling out of control.
My tattoo was to take back my power of being sexually assaulted at my 17th birthday party... I faced the truth and have been trying to re-find myself when I was mostly okay and the myself that has hopes and dreams. Getting this tattoo was very empowering, I love the symbolisms and the meanings of the witch's hand, the bat, and the fire rose unity survivor icon.
"I have Fibromyalgia - thank you for being considerate," diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 2018, I am still struggling to understand my illness and learn to cope with my pain.
In spring 2022, I was diagnosed with chronic depression, c-PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder. Everyday was yesterday in my mind & in the flashbacks I was routinely suffering through. Three months after my second suicide attempt, I moved to a new community to begin my healing journey.
is an homage to my favorite childhood book series, Martine. I love the symbolism of the hot air balloon that I, Mallory, am navigating life with chronic illness while on a healing journey.