It is absolutely fitting that it's "boyfriend day" but it's really mean girls day. Today was also tattoo day. I have known for a long time that I was tattooing the words sour girl but the creation of this inkdreams was done January 13th during an experience that I haven't quite defined yet. It was nearly an out of body experience. I was frantic and chaotic when I lifted these words from my yearbook to add to artworks I had saved as tattoo wish lists. I had created several tattoos that day... but only three have come to life:
The other words are put away. I chose to lift these words written by my boy/best friend because they were how he burned and scared me, so I carry them with my new found power over the words. There is a fourth tattoo to this collection, it will completed in November. I didn't get to morn the end of my relationship to my best friends, Owen & Darcy. I am honoring them in the fourth tattoo. They both meant the world to me, and I never stopped loving them, but they moved on without me. I tried reaching out to Darcy during her first xmas college break (Dec.'99) and she made it clear she didn't want to visit me. I let her go but I never took the time to process that heartbreak. I had realized over the summer, that I did not grieve Darcy once she was no longer in my life. I missed her more than I would be able to express. But the timing of her shutting me out was the same week that Cody & Austin sexually assaulted me in a department store when I was xmas shopping. I was overwhelmed and unable to process any of the events that week. Including being shamed by my in-laws and resentful that was a being labeled by them.
The playlist is a combination of songs that inspired the tattoo and songs that were playing the morning these inkdreams were brought to life.
"I have Fibromyalgia - thank you for being considerate," diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 2018, I am still struggling to understand my illness and learn to cope with my pain.
In spring 2022, I was diagnosed with chronic depression, c-PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder. Everyday was yesterday in my mind & in the flashbacks I was routinely suffering through. Three months after my second suicide attempt, I moved to a new community to begin my healing journey.
is an homage to my favorite childhood book series, Martine. I love the symbolism of the hot air balloon that I, Mallory, am navigating life with chronic illness while on a healing journey.