the moon in Capricorn: Ambitious, Determined, Practical
I really loved following the tattoo artist on Instagram and see that other future projects could be done by them because I loved their style, it matched my tattoo esthetic. I wanted to ask that artist to do my "bad influence" tattoo that I am planning to get done in September. Something felt a little off the week before my session - I never got to see a sample of my requests but I thought it could be alright because Danni never showed me previews of my tattoos with her.
Today is my "still alive" anniversary. My tattoo session was canceled at the last minute due to illness but I was still very hurt because it was important to have her done today so the studio had a meeting and got me set up for a later session with another artist who was keen on my design and the importance of my anniversary.
I was too afraid to even discuss the art, the meaning or that I wanted things differently. I just wanted my art and I became a copycat again.
My tattoo was not customized as I wished - Delia is as she was as someone's vision. It's sad and fitting. I'm absolutely heartbroken. This experience turned exactly into my life with Cody. I was thrilled and excited for this artwork. I arrived on time, waited with the other noon appts outside until the doors open, did my paperwork, was sent upstairs to wait for my artist. I waited. (trying not to panic) I waited. (trying not to cry) I waited. Then I looked down at my Instagram and saw they messaged me an hour or so before the appt time to let me know there was an illness but I had already felt the pain of being stood up. Fucking humiliating that I was waiting for my artist - and being flooded with flashbacks about the times I experienced why I wanted this tattoo. It didn't become the empowering session that I dreamed of - Delia is someone else's vision.
It amazing to watch her come to life. She's been apart of my inkdreams for a long time. What drew me to Delia was those thigh-high stockings. When Cody & I split up and I started going out with my friend, Owen, I started to dress up and wore neutral tone silicone lace hold-up nylons with my favorite dresses & skirts. For Owen.
I knew for sure she will be mine and today was that day. I am beyond grateful for everyone who pulled together to make Capricorn Moon happen. There are no tattoo regrets here - I have a bunch of ideas that are spiraling around to have her turn into something that is mine. I wasn't planning on adding more so it may be a while before I can afford my addons but more to dream about, I guess. 💛
"I have Fibromyalgia - thank you for being considerate," diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 2018, I am still struggling to understand my illness and learn to cope with my pain.
In spring 2022, I was diagnosed with chronic depression, c-PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder. Everyday was yesterday in my mind & in the flashbacks I was routinely suffering through. Three months after my second suicide attempt, I moved to a new community to begin my healing journey.
is an homage to my favorite childhood book series, Martine. I love the symbolism of the hot air balloon that I, Mallory, am navigating life with chronic illness while on a healing journey.